Bramble Tamble

Here’s what kind of day it is.

My wife is in Chicago again this week. (Hopefully no health crises for her husband while she’s gone, like last time.)

And the only thing left in the Coke machine at work is Vault. Fucking Vault. “Drinks like a soda, kicks like a horse’s ass!” Or something. It’s awful, regardless of how it kicks. Why don’t they just put skunk urine in a can and sell it? (Oh, wait, they already do – it’s called Red Bull.)

Ugh. It’s got “long day” written all over it.

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I don’t think I want to live in Barrow, Alaska anymore. Still sounds like a great place to visit, though.

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Dumb things to do on your next officially sanctioned holiday (Veteran’s Day, for many of you; Thanksgiving for others):

71. Find songs that have the word “cocaine” in them. Replace with the word “propane.”

Aside from rechristening Eric Clapton’s classic song as “Propane,” here are other goodies that you can come up with:

“Be damned if I ever do anymore of that propane.” – Hank Williams Jr., “O.D’d in Denver”

“We reached that level of fame where people started dishing out free propane.” - John Walsh and the Sinkholes, “Better Off Dead”

“My only friends are these vitamins and propane.” - John Walsh and the Sinkholes, “Do You Wanna Save The World?”

(It’s also funny on that last one if, instead of propane being the substitute, you used the name of legendary New York industrial band Pro-Pain. It’s not funny for the other ones, though.)