A Daylight Saving Time conspiracy theory:

Sitting here at 4:30 in the afternoon - here in the post-Daylight Saving Time era in southwest Indiana, that means it's getting dark already.

I really didn't give two poops about the time zone/Daylight Saving Time debate until this past weekend, when the state of Indiana as a whole "fell back" an hour. So it got daylight about an hour earlier on Sunday, which wasn't too much of a big deal ... but then I noticed that, at around 4:45 in the afternoon that day, it was practically dusk.

"... the hell?" I thought to myself.

So, it's going to get dark even earlier up until the first day of winter on December 22 or 23. And I am pissed.

Yeah, it's daylight an hour earlier around here - but I don't do anything outside in the mornings! I get up and go to work. Like most of you do as well, I'm sure.

Anyway, standing in front of my house in the dark on Monday afternoon, a little after 5:30, it all became crystal clear to me. Follow along if you're willing - this has a little bit of "conspiracy theory" to it, but play along!

1. Before running for and attaining the governorship, Mitch Daniels was formerly on the board of a major pharmaceutical concern in Indianapolis - I believe it's Eli Lilly. We'll say, for argument's sake, that it is Lilly.

2. It's assumed that Governor Daniels is still in Lilly's good graces. He probably still eats at White Castle with his colleagues there.

3. The Governor was adamant about shoving Daylight Saving Time down an unwilling populace's collective throat - a populace that, really, was doing just fine without moving its clocks twice a year. The reasons were stated as purely economical - to make Indiana a more business-friendly environment. But it runs deeper.

4. The board of directors at Eli Lilly looked at their sales of Prozac - an Eli Lilly product! - and determined that sales of the drug in southwest Indiana and northwest Indiana weren't nearly as strong as they could be.

5. Hence, Daylight Saving Time was legislated in Indiana, and the time zone boundaries were set, with blocks in southwest and northwest of the state being placed in the Central Time Zone, while the rest of the state ends up in Eastern.

6. With an hour at the end of day lopped off - where it is now dark at 5 in the afternoon in my county - even earlier in the middle of December - the residents of southwest/northwest Indiana will be more susceptible to seasonal depression, or seasonal affective disorder, thereby increasing the number of Prozac prescriptions, and in turn, Lilly's revenues - all because the Governor wanted to help out his pals at Lilly!!!

Sure beats any nebulous "to make the business climate in Indiana better" argument, I think.