Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Knight Fails to Flush; Media Histrionics Ensue

LUBBOCK, Texas (AP) - Texas Tech men's basketball coach Bobby (because he hates being called "Bobby") Knight today angrily defended himself against accusations that he intentionally failed to flush after leaving the men's room stall at a local restaurant.

Knight admitted no wrongdoing in the incident, saying that he "forgot" to flush the toilet after lunch at Lubbock's Big China Wok restaurant didn't particularly agree with him. He claims that he was just getting up from the toilet when he took a cell phone call from a recruit and lost his train of thought.

"This is not the way civilized society operates!" ESPN's Tony Kornheiser yelled on his nightly program "Pardon the Interruption." "It wasn't OK for George Patton, it wasn't OK for Woody Hayes, and it's not OK for Bob Knight to be so disconsiderate of others. To leave an unflushed present in the toilet for the next user merits a suspension or a firing, but as always, he's got the president and athletic director of the university covering up for him. When will this madness stop?"

When confronted with the allegations, Knight said "&%#$."

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