Bramble Tamble

I said in a post earlier this week that sports fans had ruined sports. They are not the sole culprits, though. You can also throw overbearing sports dads in the pile.

Overbearing sports dads … like me!

Tonight is Son's first competition against other children in his weight class. The county fair is having a kiddie tractor pull, where small children hop on pedal tractors and … pull, I guess.

Son's training regimen hasn't been as thorough and comprehensive as I would have liked, seeing as how we just made the decision last night to take him to the fair and enter him.

Last night, we warmed him up by putting him in our defunct dog pen and letting him chase rabbits around. After about 20 minutes of that, I put him on his trike, tied a cinder block behind it and let him drag it around the sidewalk. My peppers are ruined now, but what price, athletic glory experienced vicariously through your offspring?

"Pedal! PEDAL! Do you think little Danny Matthews is resting tonight? You think he's at his house drinking chocolate milk and watching DragonTales? No! He's busting his ass harder than you so that he can squeeze another quarter of a second out of his time! COME ON - ARE YOU GOING TO BE A MAN OR A GIRL?"*

"Airplane, Daddy! Look!"

Seriously … it'll be fun. The bitch of it all is going to be getting him off the tractor. I imagine a scene will be made.

* - to you "children's rights" folks: relax. Tongue is planted firmly in cheek, except for the "Airplane, Daddy!" bit. That actually happened.