New policy, effective immediately.

I have decided to enact a new policy in my life.

I am going to say the meanest, most judgmental things to someone, and it will all be OK because I will preface it with, "Now, I don't mean anything by it, but....."

For instance. If I see a woman walking around with 6 or 7 kids, I can tell her, "Now, I don't mean anything by it, but pooping out that many kids can really be a financial drain on you."

I say this because Nemesis and I were outside smoking at work this morning, minding our own business. This guy I've never seen before in my life was delivering bottled water, and he walks right up to us. "Now, I don't mean anything by it, but a few years ago, I got really bad sick. Had allergies. My esophagus closed up and I couldn't breathe. And it was because of those things." Pointed at my cigarette.

(Now, I don't mean anything by it, but maybe if he'd studied a little harder in school and knew the difference between an esophagus and a windpipe, then maybe he wouldn't be delivering bottled water for a living.)

See how easy it is? All of my meanest thoughts can come rolling out, and I can be guilt-free about it because I prefaced it as such, and you can't have hurt feelings.
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