An open letter to the University of Florida's athletic director:

Dear Florida AD Jeremy Foley:

I know that you have a wish list of names to whom you would like to offer your school's football head coaching position now that it appears you're in the market for one. The usual names are popping up all over the interwebs - Stoops, Petrino, Mullen, Whittingham, Shanahan. And while any of those could no doubt continue the success that Urban Meyer achieved in his short time at your institution, both you and I know that you've never followed the conventional wisdom; it was that very departure from conventional wisdom that brought Meyer to Gainesville from Utah a few years back.

With that said, may I present to you a name that has not even been whispered, a name that would turn the rumor mill completely on its side and destroy any credibility that those who are supposedly "in the know" might wield.

Please offer Indiana's Bill Lynch the position of UF's head coach.

I know, you're saying "Who?" Believe me, we were saying it too after the unfortunate series of events that led to his hire as Indiana's head football coach. And now every Hoosier fan worth his foam finger knows Lynch's name.

Bill Lynch brings many fine attributes to the table. He has shown the ability to coach both in Muncie and Bloomington, so you know from the get-go that you're getting a man who is flexible. That adaptability was no more evident than this season, in which he coached the Hoosiers to several fantastic first-half victories - did you see the first-half whipping they laid on Northwestern? - and modified his team's strategy accordingly in the second half. What a phenomenal coach!

In Bill Lynch, you'll be getting a man who exudes passion and enthusiasm for the game of football. Did you see the passion and enthusiasm with which he threw that piece of gum after that admittedly-bogus "interception" call at Michigan this sason? I thought, "Wow. Here is a grown man who is showing his passion and enthusiasm for the game in front of 100,000 enemy fans." Just think of the zest he will exude in front of similarly-sized home crowds. Florida fans will LOVE him.

Lastly, if you're concerned that such a radical change will lead to mediocrity in what even I, as a Big Ten fan, admit is the toughest football conference in the country, rest assured that Bill Lynch will maintain the same level of excellence at your university - just as he has at Indiana. Statistics don't lie! There has been NO appreciable change in performance in his tenure at Indiana from that of his predecessors. In fact, he performed above expectations his first year as coach of the Hoosiers!

In closing, Mr. Foley, I think it's obvious that Bill Lynch is the perfect man for the job. And I think that no less an authority than the SEC coaching fraternity would agree. It's rare that you would get those men to agree on lunch, and they would be unanimous in their support for the hire of Lynch as your school's next head football coach.

Thank you for your time. Please, make the call to Bill Lynch. PLEASE. For the love of all that is good and holy.

Please.

Sincerely,
--Brandon G.
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