Bramble Tamble

I said I would add more to the post below from 5-19 (the one that starts out "I'll explain later, but....").

"So... ummmmm, did you hear about the wreck?" I asked my mom on the phone one day last week, knowing full well that she had since, in her younger days, she used to run around with the woman who died in the accident.

Her voice broke a little: "Yeah, I did."

Then she added, "That's some of your family."

Errrrr, what?

So apparently one of the victims in the wreck last week was a distant cousin (at LEAST second or third cousin, if not more). It's all very terrible and all very sad, but I'm not kidding when I tell you that whatever tenuous familial ties I might have had with her DID NOT EVEN REGISTER WITH ME.

That's how close we were. I knew the name, but that's about it. I hadn't seen her since I was MAYBE 6 or 7 years old, and to be honest, I don't have any memories of her whatsoever, just a hazy spectre in my subconscious. I wouldn't have recognized her in the street if I saw her. (Before the accident, anyway.)

And there's no disrespect intended there. I mean, I saw her younger brother a couple of months ago working at a convenience store, and he didn't recognize me either. I guess we're cousins too. But I didn't lose any sleep over it.

But I'll reiterate what I said in my post from 5-19: just because someone is related to you, by blood or by marriage, no matter how close or distant, that does NOT make them your "family." Unless you want to stick strictly to dictionary definitions, I guess.

I'm sorry, it just doesn't. I'm related to some of the most worthless welfare-sucking drains of society who have contributed ZERO POINT SHIT to the world, and I DO NOT consider them "family," in even the most wide-ranging sense of the term.

So, one of the questions I've been struggling with in the last 10 days is this: Does all of this mean there's something wrong with me? When a person I'm "related" to passes away and I can't manage more than a shrug?

Don't get me wrong. I'll be devastated when my dad passes on. I'll be crushed when my mom passes away despite her occasional bouts with herp-a-derp (see my series of tweets about the funeral, or the "that's your family" comment above). The people who are important to me - by blood, by marriage or none of the above - yes, I will feel their loss.

And isn't that more of a definition of "family" than by the crapshoot of genetics or ancestry?