If only ...

If only the rumors of Jim Caldwell taking over the Penn State program had been rumored 10 or 15 years ago and then come to pass, we could have been treated to this exchange with then-grad assistant Mike McQueary.

 

 "COACH! COACH!"

 

"...."

"YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT I JUST SAW, COACH!"

"...."

 "COACH SANDUSKY BACK THERE IN THE SHOWER, COACH! AND HE WAS ..."

 

"...."

"HE WAS ... TO A BOY ... YOU KNOW ...."

"...."

 "You know.  With his .. unh unh unh ... GOD THIS IS SO HARD TO SAY."

"...."

 

"WHAT SHOULD I DO, COACH?"

From the 4th of July

(Ed. note: cleaning out my mailbox on my phone, I forgot that I tried to send the below paragraph via SMS and it didn't post. So I'm posting now even though it's after Labor Day now. Important to me.)

This 4th of July is the first one in my adult memory where my dad's not having a party. I'm not sure what to do with myself other than be more than a little heartbroken.
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GOD. If my past were brand-spanking-new clean and I knew those fuckers in the media would leave my family alone, I'd seek the Libertarian nod for governor just to keep this fucker from getting it. Hated hated HATED him in "Survivor" and forgot how much till now.

http://m.indystar.com/localheadlines/article?a=2011110831018&f=1242

(Mobile link may be dead now, but it's about Rupert running for Indiana's governorship. He has, as the article states, no firm ideas but will "reduce spending.")
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It wasn't important, but Boss, if you're searching on my name, read this

(Yes, I know you read this.)

So work has sucked ass. And then I took a week off. And it's gotten better.

It helps that I've refocused. It seemed like everything I put my hands on went to shit. And now maybe not so much.

I like my job. I like my boss. But we've not been getting along, to the point where I dreaded coming in to work out of fear that I'd hear how I fucked up yesterday.

And then we both took a week off. And all of a sudden, it's like I'm a completely different employee. I'm inspired, I'm recharged, I'm MOTIVATED. And it doesn't feel like a false dawn.

It feels REAL. It feels like I'm on track to being the best, to being all I was supposed to be when I was hired almost 4 years ago.

But I wonder if the improvement in the environment is due to the fact that I'm doing better, or that we both have recognized and accepted my limitations.

I hope it's the former.

We meet weekly for a half-hour, 45 minutes, whatever. And the meeting I had with him yesterday was POSITIVE. I felt good when I left his office. It wasn't the normal sense of relief that I usually feel.

Maybe I finally "get it." I know that I've been burned A LOT this year by certain folks in the organization out of my natural instinct to protect those around me. Cause I'm smart enough to, but sometimes circumstances fall out of your control. Especially in this job.

And I decided "no more."

And I'm out of this 3-year rut that I always tend to feel in jobs after 3 years. For now. Onward.
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Tested: pass

Good. Thoughts to type out via phone, computer is shit. Last one I tried from phone in july didn't work.
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Just a test.

Does this fucking work or not?
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You ever extended an olive branch to someone, only to have them take it and shove it up your ass? Such was my day at work yesterday. FMJ.

Re: new Mustang - any suggestions for sexy names would be appreciated. Previous one was named Belle, so that one is out. If it helps, this one is burgundy.

Eight days till I get my new Mustang. I'll try not to fucking total this one before its warranty expires.

I hate hate hate ESPN's "Streak for the Cash" game. Not because I can never seem to get a winning streak of greater than 5 going, but because it's caused me to give a fuck about the outcome of soccer matches. I'm not uncertain that this is the same way that problem sports gamblers feel.

Funny thing. I'm starting to wonder if my punchline MRSA isn't actually real MRSA.

For no damn good reason

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I think "semistate" is a uniquely Indiana term.

Oh. It was someone screenprinting t-shirts for washington and north daviess, whose basketball teams were in the semistate on saturday.

I just clicked on a link on the washington paper to an article called "busy day." It will probably be another picture of a goddamned windmill.

Not a defender of the president by any stretch, but I'm getting quite the kick out of watching people get spun up over the fact that he filled out a bracket instead of going over to Japan to fill water buckets to pour into nuclear reactors.

Surely none of these complainers would be part of the subset of people whose workplace productivity goes down during March Madness - surely not! Me, I just think it's dumb that he picked all four #1s to go to the Final Four.

March Madness side note: Incidentally, what is "chalk" derived from when referring to the tournament? As in, "Obama went all chalk when selecting his Final Four" (i.e., he picked all number 1 seeds to go to the Final Four). Its usage aggravates me.

Why is it when someone gives a vast sum of money to a church, it's supposed to be a wonderful thing, but if they give it to a cult, something's wrong with them? What's the difference?

I just want the world to know that I abhor my Curve 8520 to the point where I don't even know if I want another Blackberry. And no, I don't want a goddamn iPhone to replace it.

Seen in CNN mobile's "Top Video" section: "Can a fingerprint reveal intelligence?" Duh. If, say, you've burned yours off, then chances are you're not the sharpest knife in the deck.

I initiated setup of a couple of new tasks in the system for one of my colleagues this week, and was notified today that setup was complete and his charge numbers are available for charging. I detailed how much he could spend in labor and travel on each task. We indicated to one another that we looked forward to working with one another again. We're professionals.

I wonder if learning to throw a boomerang this summer would make my life more fulfilling than it is now.

Hey, would you look at that. My arm's bleeding.

For me, it doesn't get any better than when he does "Cop Killer."

Here's what's got me bummed the fuck out today.

Apparently, and I discovered this while googling myself this morning because I am just that fucking vain, I share a name with a convicted cop killer.

Why should I have to change my name? He's the one who sucks.

PS - no, my name is not Mumia Abu-Jamal.
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It turned out to be a pretty good weekend.

I have no idea what "Viva La Juicy" means, but it's on an air freshener in the car parked next to me at work today. This one of the things I'm probably too old to learn about.

One of my most treasured items from my childhood is a black bumper sticker with red text that says "Khadafy Sucks." Wish it was so treasured that I could actually find it. Line Of Death retro!

I should probably explain the turn of phrase in the below post. "A complete fucking Wal-Mart makeover" has the potential to become a meme, at least where I work, or at least a punchline. "Hey, I like the new shoes." "Yeah, I gave myself a complete fucking Wal-Mart makeover last weekend. I bought new pants too that i otherwise wouldn't normally wear but figured I'd try something new because I'm tired of dark denim."

It was wonderful in the late '90s to be young and hip and in touch and maybe even a little good-looking. Now I'm none of those things. And IT SUCKS ASS. Yeah, everyone gets old, suck it up, deal with it - but I'm not having an easy time just dealing with it. I deal with it by drinking. And giving myself a complete fucking Wal-Mart makeover. Yeah me.

I think part of that is the reason that I was so eager to start doing the magazine again when Captain suggested it. (nouglybabies.com, by the way.)

I wanna be rock and roll again. I was through my 20s. Then I got married and settled down. I was again for a brief time a couple years ago, when I had Belle. Then I totaled her. But I'm ready to try it again. Let's get out of this country.

Actually, it was 90 bucks, but here's what makes it even sadder: one pair was on sale, marked down from 120 to 50, and I HAD TO HAVE THEM.

Here's the kind of life crisis I'm going through: last weekend, I spent 80 bucks on shoes. Christ.

When conversing at work with a colleague, sometimes I'm all "thank you for your service to our country, but you're still kind of an asshole."