One of my most treasured items from my childhood is a black bumper sticker with red text that says "Khadafy Sucks." Wish it was so treasured that I could actually find it. Line Of Death retro!

I should probably explain the turn of phrase in the below post. "A complete fucking Wal-Mart makeover" has the potential to become a meme, at least where I work, or at least a punchline. "Hey, I like the new shoes." "Yeah, I gave myself a complete fucking Wal-Mart makeover last weekend. I bought new pants too that i otherwise wouldn't normally wear but figured I'd try something new because I'm tired of dark denim."

It was wonderful in the late '90s to be young and hip and in touch and maybe even a little good-looking. Now I'm none of those things. And IT SUCKS ASS. Yeah, everyone gets old, suck it up, deal with it - but I'm not having an easy time just dealing with it. I deal with it by drinking. And giving myself a complete fucking Wal-Mart makeover. Yeah me.

I think part of that is the reason that I was so eager to start doing the magazine again when Captain suggested it. (nouglybabies.com, by the way.)

I wanna be rock and roll again. I was through my 20s. Then I got married and settled down. I was again for a brief time a couple years ago, when I had Belle. Then I totaled her. But I'm ready to try it again. Let's get out of this country.

Actually, it was 90 bucks, but here's what makes it even sadder: one pair was on sale, marked down from 120 to 50, and I HAD TO HAVE THEM.

Here's the kind of life crisis I'm going through: last weekend, I spent 80 bucks on shoes. Christ.

When conversing at work with a colleague, sometimes I'm all "thank you for your service to our country, but you're still kind of an asshole."