(Yes, I know you read this.)
So work has sucked ass. And then I took a week off. And it's gotten better.
It helps that I've refocused. It seemed like everything I put my hands on went to shit. And now maybe not so much.
I like my job. I like my boss. But we've not been getting along, to the point where I dreaded coming in to work out of fear that I'd hear how I fucked up yesterday.
And then we both took a week off. And all of a sudden, it's like I'm a completely different employee. I'm inspired, I'm recharged, I'm MOTIVATED. And it doesn't feel like a false dawn.
It feels REAL. It feels like I'm on track to being the best, to being all I was supposed to be when I was hired almost 4 years ago.
But I wonder if the improvement in the environment is due to the fact that I'm doing better, or that we both have recognized and accepted my limitations.
I hope it's the former.
We meet weekly for a half-hour, 45 minutes, whatever. And the meeting I had with him yesterday was POSITIVE. I felt good when I left his office. It wasn't the normal sense of relief that I usually feel.
Maybe I finally "get it." I know that I've been burned A LOT this year by certain folks in the organization out of my natural instinct to protect those around me. Cause I'm smart enough to, but sometimes circumstances fall out of your control. Especially in this job.
And I decided "no more."
And I'm out of this 3-year rut that I always tend to feel in jobs after 3 years. For now. Onward.
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